We are always told to think before we speak, and act, and somehow, no matter how much we attempt to control our actions and reactions, we find ourselves regretting things we’ve said or done. Life is not about regrets.
I’ve always found myself looking back at my reactions to certain situations and more than once, felt disappointed and angry at myself, making private resolutions to be aware next time. Many of us do. But not many of us have the opportunity to take part in something that, without our awareness even, teaches us and gives us the skills to be aware, live in the moment,and let go yet have full control. I found that in the Roda (Capoeira circle where two people play) the whole world is encompassed in between the people around me singing and clapping to the music. Who I am inside the Roda, is the reflection of who I am in all of the other aspects of my life, and vice versa.
I’ve always been a bit insecure, a little control freak, an impulsive reactor, a passionate survivor, a bitchy woman, a complainer, an excuse master, an an an an ….. (I can keep going for pages). But, when I began to enter the Roda and play,things changed. I needed to stop thinking yet react quickly. I needed to control, but only my body, and yet accept and flow with my partner, I had to relax yet stay alert. I needed to change! WOW it was difficult, and the people around me felt my frustration.
But I finally got it! In the Roda, I can get ready to let go, to move with anotherperson and react to their actions in a complimenting way. This made me accept other people, and learn to work with them and around them whilerespecting them. I was able to fall on my butt with everyone looking and not feel awful and foolish, because when looking around, everyone watching, only cheered me to get up. I began to let go of my anger and excuses and really work hard to flow and move freely while trusting my body.No matter what happened in the Roda, my partner and I ended our game with a smile and a hug. And you know what, it began to overflow like water into a bucket, and it was so full that it spilled out into my life outside of Capoeira. I accepted people more and more, and found something to love about every single one of them. I learned that I can control what I choose to release and let go of. I stopped complaining and creating excuses and just have fun! That is what the Roda is about, that is what Capoeira is about, that is what LIFE is about.